This is An Official Emergency Sack. It is for The Dog's bio-waste... or, solid donation... pooh-pooh... ca-ca... and so on and so forth. By Italian Law... and this is of vital importance... I am obligated to have at least 3 of these things on me... at all times... when out with The Dog. The Question is... how am I to maintain the constant quantity of 3, if The Dog uses 2 on our w-a-l-k-s? And, because of how things do or do not work here in Italy, you live in constant Terror of being confronted by a Vigile or by a Vigilessa... basically... a low-grade AND annoying sort of meter reader in a blue uniform. However, they are also entrusted with additional duties of making your civil life in the city UN INFERNO by fining you for every infraction of the city's Rules & Regulations they see committed. One of these would be how you manage your dog's bio-waste. But, enough about them...
In the meantime... I am sure you all are anxious to learn of the key details of just what makes An Official Emergency Sack. Now, don't deny it! So, here we go...
1. It needs to be plastic... yes, waste creates more waste when the real waste makes fertilizer for the city's under-nourished flora...
2. It needs to be LARGE enough to do The Job but, SMALL enough to avoid creating unsightly bulges in your back pants pockets...
3. Handles are important... for that final bow before tossing the O.E.S. into the nearest bin...
4. Recycled sacks are the best... it's such a great advertisement for the local supermarkets & pharmacies...
5. NO HOLES at the bottom. Need I say more?
Now, if you will excuse me, The Dog wants to go out. Gads.
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