Often, strolling along an Italian thorough-fare with My Adored Canine in tow, I am frequently stopped by admiring Italian folk... of said Dog and not of My Ample Girth, as The Short-person claims... and am asked The Question...
What language do you speak with your stunning...? Stunning...? What color IS your stunning dog?
What language do you speak with your stunning...? Stunning...? What color IS your stunning dog?
He's taupe, thank you.
Naturally, I take their confusion in stride, knowing full well that Italian DOES NOT HAVE AN ADEQUATE WORD FOR TAUPE!!!... and attempt to return them to The First Part of Their Question. Naturally, I can readily accept The Original Question because, I AM, in fact, an English-speaking person dragging a stunning Taupe Weimaraner Dog along a traffic congested Genoese street.
My Answer is very simple. Our Standard Procedure is...
Any & All Commands/Summons/Other are spoken in Italian, such things as...
Seduto... Park it, Dog!
STOP... Yes, STOP is an Italian word too...
Vieni qua... Come here, canine!
Piano... Go slowly or you'll be hit by that taxi speeding over the double-white lines!
Andiamo... Let's go. It's time for lunch!
Subito... Now, or you are Dead Meat, Dog!
Subito... Now, or you are Dead Meat, Dog!
FAI POOH-POOH!!!... Do The Hard-stuff... NOW!!!
Whereas, Any & All Discussions of Political, Social or Historical Import, are entirely conducted in English, such as...
Your realize, of course, My Dear Dog, that the advent of a neo-Fascist party in the United Kingdom is due to the deplorable management of the economy and the ill-conceived social initiatives by New Labour for the marginalized of English Society.
Naturally, The Dog could care less for these kinds of arguments. He's ONLY interested in his dinner. Gads.
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