What's needed above all...

Occasionally, I am asked what is The Most Important Thing about having A Dog. I love questions like this. I perk-up almost immediately when I get to speak My Opinion and, I am very opinionated about My Dog. So, what would be my answer to the above question? Well... I think... it's vital to have A Special Voice for your dog. Otherwise, your canine/pooch/mutt/fi-fi dog, etc. might wander off... wagging its hind-quarters... with any ol' Tom, Dick or Sandra who happens about.

In My Opinion, A Special Voice for a dog must have the following Essential Elements...

1. It must be special to you and to no other Human Being-person on the Face of the Earth. It might help to expand the parameters to include the Entire Universe, as a security precaution.

2. One that cannot EVER be copied, duplicated or, imitated in a million-trillion-ga-zillion years...  

3. And, one so utterly ridiculous that no one would dare to use it anyway. Thus, your Special Voice is safe. It will also filter out any unsavoury dog-haters lurking in your vicinity.

For instance, My Special Voice for The Dog is a distinct combination of... 

A. An English Lord...

B. Someone choking on a lettuce leaf with too much balsamic vinegar...

and, perhaps with...

C. A touch of Bugs Bunny. 

It goes without saying that, naturally, My Special Voice is immediately recognized by The Dog. He has had Extensive Training. 

However... WARNING! WARNING!! WARNING!!!... You should NEVER use your Special Voice for Commands, such as... "STOP sniffing up that woman's skirt!"...or... "Get out of the way of that city transit bus!"... If you do, your dog will think you to be an utter moron and we certainly don't want that!