This animal here has KDFST... Known Delinquent Food Scavenging Tendencies. Yes, it's a bit long but, what can I do about it? It's The Dog.
The other day, I ran into a neighbor of ours who said Moses had come wandering into her home unannounced. Oh! Mamma mia! I said, I am sooo sorry. Oh! No problem, she replied, I think Moses is a wonderfully well-behaved dog. Better than some of my children! Gads. Could that be possible? Ha! I retorted anyway, if only to keep up appearances as a RDP... Responsible Dog Parent. He was only looking for a treat! The neighbor promptly asked, Does he like bread? Oh! I said, It's Numero Uno! Well, maybe Numero Due, right after meat. However, I had to inform Our Dear Neighbor that The Dog's entrance into her house is The Fault of everyone who meets this scavenger-animal-food-disposal. All because another neighbor gives The Dog whatever he barks for... sweat & tasty biscuits, meat just off the kitchen grill, pasta with tomatoes & wild mushrooms... and even a dessert of Tira-mi-su, for cryin' out loud!!! Then, naturally, The Dog comes & throws it all up at me feet minutes later. Gads.
This phases The Dog not in the least. Perhaps he thinks the up-side outweighs the down on the Food Scale. Chissa? Who knows?
The other evening, The Dog dared to pester Our Generous Hosts & us Guests too at a lovely meal served out on their scenic terrace. The full August Moon glowing down upon us from the Tuscan Heavens above along with an exhausted Venus having traipsed to & fro all the summer long. Anyway... The Dog hovered & paced from one side of the table to the other like a fly at a barn buffet. His ample & potent Weimaraner nose poked close to everyone's plate piled high with a magnificent tuna & capers pasta, tomato salad with tiny zucchini and some of the best carpaccio & pinoli this side of the Arno River. Then, by chance and in between sips of an excellent local white wine, I happened to spy Our Handsome Host AND his Father too, surreptitiously passing morsels of various edible divinities off their plates for The Dog to enjoy to his COMPLETE & TOTAL Satisfaction. I should have know that he was responsible for that tell-tale SNAP every Now & Then!!! I thought it was the mosquitoes. Instead, it was The Dog's Weimaraner jaws clamping down on a mouthful of pasta alla conchiglia oozing with tuna-fish & olive oil.
I must say... The Dog ain't too smart. The least he could have done was avoid that final SMACK of his Weimaraner lips, so not to be caught IN FLAGRANTE!!! He should have sat down & savored said morsels and have let me resume my white wine drinking!!! But no, he did not. I had to yell at him!!! I could not loose face with The Short-person... one fervently & ardently OPPOSED to The Dog's presence within 6 meters of a dining table... sitting between me and those two culprits. Gads.
So, if you find The Dog snooping in your house, let him have whatever. But, please, don't tell me know about it. And, be sure The Short-person is far, far away too!!! Gads.
